Rone-ry... I am so rone-ry...

I wrote the following a couple of days ago. I didn't even have it in me to post until now... How freaking sad is that?!

11.07.2013

Woeful. Full of woe. Reading Anthony Kiedis’ Scar Tissue and it reminds me of my ex boyfriend. I was with him for years. On and off but it went on for such a long time. And we got high together and were loved up and blissful and great and terrible together. And I miss him lately. I don’t know what he’s doing and I don’t know for certain how he’s doing. But I still feel like we have unfinished business. But I don’t think he thinks the same way.

And I realised a few moments ago that the worst I’ve ever felt in my life has always revolved around a man. I’ve felt worse from break ups than I did when my father died. I felt worse when, on the one year anniversary of my dad’s death, my UK boyfriend said we should live apart. I felt worse when we broke up. Why does the men in my life effect me more than what should arguably have been the most important man in my life.

12.07.2013

I want the kind of love that never dies. I want someone who loves the worst parts of me.